


East Jesus Nowhere

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fast Food, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Step-parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 09:36:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yellow Submarine Sun Shop and Revival Mobile are two stores next door to one another. Dan, a manager at the sub shop hates his jobs and his life but loves philosophy and theater. Phil, a cell phone seller, just graduated with his Master's and is waiting around for his dream job. Their paths have crossed but this is how a gross bathroom and a broken water fountain and a death trap of a car brings them together.





	East Jesus Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the PBB on Tumblr and the longest one-shot I have ever written. This story gave me a lot grief and many times I didn't think I would finish it. I would like to give a BIG shout out to my beta Tasha (aka yourfriendlyblogstalker on Tumblr) for editing and working through my problems with verb tense and also thanks to Julia (aka bansheephan on Tumblr) for being my emotional support.

People tell you that every person has value and every person has meaning and a reason to be alive. No person was a mistake to be put on Earth and even the tiniest action can have the greatest reaction. In fact, the philosopher Immanuel Kant said that rational human beings should be treated as an end in themselves and not as a means to something else. The fact that we are human has value in itself. No matter what you are doing right now, it is exactly where you need to be. This is, of course, what Dan keeps telling himself to refrain from walking out of his job. 

Beads of sweat form on Dan’s forehead as he slaves over the hot grill, chicken and steak sizzle on the grill. Murmurs of conversation are heard from the other side of the restaurant, but nothing loud enough to make out. The Yellow Submarine is a Beatles Themed sub shop that has 7 different location spanning out over 3 different districts in the area. 

Dan flips over the chicken and chops up the steak, adding spice to it and putting on bread to run through the oven to cook and melt the cheese. Taking the corner of his apron, he wipes his greasy and sweaty forehead and groans, looking over on the other side of the line to see his coworker, Chuck, wrapping and dressing the sandwiches. 

The Yellow Submarine is set up like a typical sub shop. You walk in, order at the counter and then pay at the other end of the store. It doesn’t have a kitchen, really. All the cooking and prepping can be seen from the other side of the line, which gets annoying when nosy customers watch and judge your every movement. The walls were painted a pastel yellow with thin electric blue stripes. There is limited seating in the restaurant. About 15 tables and a bar-type seating area, which is good. The fewer people in the restaurant, the more time Dan has to go in the back and look at memes. 

Dan thinks more about Kant’s moral philosophy while making a “Strawberry Fields Chicken sandwich”. Chicken sucks because it takes the longest to make. Whatever. As soon as he’s finished, Dan rips off his gloves and goes in the back to get a drink. The back of the store is smaller than most rooms. It’s narrow and all it holds is the ice machine, 4 sinks, and bread racks. But, there’s a small desk where files are kept and that’s the “hang out” after all the customer are gone. Or even before. Dan flips out his iPhone (wiping his greasy fingers on the apron first) and checks for texts. None. 

“It’s fine,” He says to himself, “They’ll talk to me eventually.” 

24-year-old Dan Howell has been out of high school for almost 6 years. He recently reached out to his old high school friends (via FaceBook) to try and reconnect, seeing as the only friends he has now are, well, none. He was the only one out of his group to drop out of university and now it is coming to bite him in the ass. He just couldn't handle law school. It’s just too boring and never interested Dan anyhow…

But he has come to find out recently that sometimes, work experience is even more valuable than education. Maybe not if you want to be a nurse or something, but for a depressed kid with no real direction yet? Goals, honestly. The only thing he knows he enjoys is acting. Performing has always been his life, ever since he was 8 years old, playing Wise Man #2 in the Christmas Mass at church. Yes, he knows that no one can really become an actor without having an in, paying for an agent or being just really good. He knows that uni was probably his best option, but it was so much work and so hard. Dan can’t do 2-hour lectures, he just can’t. 

At 24, Dan had hoped that he would be moved out of his parents' house, but only £350 a week doesn’t really pay for a London apartment, or much at all as a matter of fact, as he has found out. His parents are nice and let him camp out in his room most days. Three times a week he does make dinner, and three times a week his father shows him ads on Indeed.com for different jobs in the area. All requiring some sort of Associates degree or a certificate of some kind. His parents may be nice, but Dan knows they really want him to get another job. 

Sighing, Dan keeps scrolling through FaceBook, looking at all his friend’s perfect lives with their perfect apartments and perfect jobs and does every single person who graduates have to post a bragging photo on every single social media outlet they can get their grimy debt-riddled hands on? Do they? Do they! 

Chuck saunters into the back, rubbing his hand across the light amount of stubble on his chin then smoothing out his thin red mustache. Dan then touches his own smooth face and sighs with envy. Chuck notices Dan’s disheartening demeanor and beings chatting. 

“That one lady who ordered the Yellow Submarine asked if we had Gluten Free options. Then. Uh. Then she got mad at me when I said we didn’t. Lady. You come into a fuckin’ sub shop asking for goddamn Gluten Free like we sell soups or something.” He took a sip of his drink, his nasally Waluigi like voice rang in Dan’s head. This is my only (kind of) friend, huh? Dan thought.

“Customers are idiots, Chuck. I know you like, love everything about working here but-” 

“Woah woah woah,” He said, still smiling, “I would never ever like a customer. All of them are terrible morons,” He looks at his watch and then thinks for a second, “Well, Scoop is okay.” 

“Scoop? You mean Jeff? That guy who makes us scoop out the inner part of his bread? Yea, well, I guess he is okay. Though he never stops talking politics. Give him 2 minutes here and he’ll go on and on about Trump. I know more about us leaving the Paris Agreement from him then 50 minutes of Fox News.”

“More like Fake News,” He laughs, which sounds a bit like a cackle, but the conversation was pleasant so far. He looks at his watch again then up at Dan. 

“Every hour on the hour?” He asks. Dan motions for him to leave and Chuck practically throws off his apron to go outside. “It has almost been every hour and a half. I can feel my lungs getting healthier and the cancer going away. Gotta fix that,” He grabs his coat and runs out the door, as Dan’s quietly laughing and rolling his eyes at that weirdo. 

Chuck walks out of the restaurant, holding the door for the customers going out as he was. After they had gone, Dan looks around and realises that he was the only soul in the store at the moment. He sighs, happy to be alone. Now, don’t get that mixed up. Sure, Dan likes being by himself after a rush at his job, what he doesn’t like is going home and finishing a TV show every other night because he can never go out with any friends.

He wipes off the grease on his forehead with the black apron tied around his waist. He runs his hands through his hair before realising he still has gloves on. It is technically protocol for Dan to change his gloves then, but it would be such a pain to put new gloves on his sweaty hands. Deal with it customers. Dan pours some water on the grill and begins cleaning off the teriyaki and scum from the grill with the grill scraper. He lazily pushes the gunk down the trough, making the grill not look like a dump of goop. After that, he takes off his gloves (which have begun to feel like a second skin) and wipes down the bread cutting station as well as the meat slicer. He pulls some meats up top and restocks while he cleans, silently humming to himself. This puts Dan in a good mood. It wasn’t really his work that he hated, it was the customers he had to deal with. See, if he could just clean all day, not have to talk to people, well, that would be kind of a dream job. Dan realizes he’s talking about being a janitor and decides he should phrase that in his head differently. A butler. Yea, a butler. 

Though, Dan never really wanted to always be in a place of constant servitude. Sure, he wants to help others and shit, but never always having to follow the demands of someone else. He should be able to help other people in the way that he sees fit. Of course, he still doesn’t know what he really should be doing with his life (as shown by his current job status). Dan knows that your ability to help those in need is related, in large part, to how well connected you are to your innermost self. Thinking about the book, I Am That, the Indian sage, Nisargadatta Maharaj, based his entire philosophy of helping others around his teaching that, knowing who you truly are is the single most important thing you can do to help anyone else, and consequently the world. However, is Dan not knowing who he truly is harming the world? Is he doing the world a disservice?

Dan hears the door jingle and externally sighs but internally does a big long groan. Why is it whenever Dan starts philosophizing, someone has to come in? It’s not like he is going to be thinking theoretically on his own time? He turns expecting a family but then sees a familiar aquamarine and sea green color scheme on a shirt pair with black pants. After scanning the uniform he looks at the face and sees the familiar face of, uh, Phil. That’s it. 

Phil works over at the store next door, Revival Mobile. They are a discounted phone carrier store that offers cheap coverage at a low price. As much as Dan thinks their coverage and data aren’t as good as the commercials say they are, he will admit that he loves the aesthetic that Revival has going on. Dan waves at Phil and says nothing as he walks over to the soda fountain to get his drink. Why does Phil just fill up his drink for free you may ask? Well, about 4 months ago the water fountain at Revival broke and since it was the middle of May and hot as balls, Revival Mobile people were actually dying. So one day, one of the managers, Manny, asked Dan if they could make a trade and Dan said, “That is above my pay grade,” So Manny asked the General Manager and she agreed to the trade. The Revival Mobile people could use Yellow Submarine’s soda fountain for free if they got to use Revival’s bathroom. See, the bathroom as YS is, how you say, terrible. It looks like a prison and smells like one too. The water pressure barely matches that of a leaky faucet and the toilet paper is one ply. Revival has a beautiful 3 ply bathroom. And the deal was made. Bartering still exists. And even though their water fountain got fixed and the bathroom got painted a nice blue and yellow, the deal still holds up to this day. 

Dan continues to wipe down, focusing his attention on the knives covered in crumbs. He listens to the sound of the ice falling into the plastic cup then the silent hissing of the soda. Phil waits for the fizzing to go down then fills his soda up the rest of the way. He puts the lid on (as Dan observed, seeing as it was the only action in the store at the moment) and then starts to walk outside. He gets halfway to the door before stopping and sighing, then he goes to sit down. Sit down? 

This makes Dan go from observing to staring. The Revival Mobile people are nice but they sell phones and YS sells greasy sandwiches. They normally stare at the floor, shuffling in and out of the establishment, let alone sit down at all. Dan watches as Phil scrolls aimlessly on his phone, pausing every couple of seconds to look at something or take a sip of his Coke Zero. 

Dan’s gaze is now lasered directly into the top of Phil’s shiny black hair. “This is stupid, just say something,” Dan thinks to himself. 

He clears his throat, not loud enough for Phil to hear, and stumbles over something to say, “So, are you just in here enjoying the decor or are you here to loiter?” 

Phil looks up from his phone and breathes out of his nose, laughing in a way, “I was in here to loiter but now I am just enjoying the aesthetic of the building.” 

“Yes, I too am a fan of primary colors.” 

Phil actually laughs at that joke. He clicks the power button on top of his phone then gets up from his seat and moves towards the counter, “No, I’m actually here on my break,” 

Dan cocked his head to the left, “Why here? Taco Bell is like right down the road. So is McDonald's and Thai Food and literally a dozen other places so much better-”

“Yea yea I know. But my car is kinda broken right now so I can’t really go anywhere without a ride or walking and I am lazy,” he shrugs, “It could be a couple weeks before I get it back and I am too lazy to make my own lunch,” 

“That’s fair, all I do is eat here. Though in fairness, I still do make my own lunch and I get a 100% manager discount so it’s smart of me to not make my own food, not so much for you.” 

Phil scoffs, “Whatever, don’t you want to make stuff so you can get paid?” 

A wicked smile creeps onto Dan’s face, “Ah ha, you fool! Unlike you I do not get paid on commision or tips. I couldn’t give a shit if you were the last person to step foot into the restaurant this week, I am still get paid my fair £10.00 an hour. Any money you put into that cash register is going straight into my boss’ pockets.” 

Phil goes wide-eyed, “Wow, I’m sorry. I have never worked in food-” 

“Yea, I can tell,” Dan cuts him off and Phil raises his eyebrows, “You can always tell,” 

Phil hesitantly clears his throat, fearing what he is going to ask next. Dan doesn’t exactly have a “temper”, but he can be short with people. With Phil, however, Dan hopes he knows he was only joking around. He hasn’t gotten a customer in 20 minutes. That shit can get boring sometimes. 

“So,” Phil cautiously starts, “You won’t be mad at me if I get a sandwich, right?” 

Dan looks Phil in the eyes. “Get out,” He told him. Phil starts and then Dan starts to smile, not being able to hold his serious demeanor, and Phil, in turn, begins to smile too. Dan motions for Phil to come to the POS as he’s pulling on gloves. He enters his employee number and then goes into manager mode, “Will this be for Dine-In or Take-Out?” 

“Dine-In,”

“Can I get a name for the order?” Dan asked

“Wha- You know my name,” Phil looked down at his shirt, “I’m wearing a nametag,” 

Dan didn’t respond and typed something into the computer, “Okay, what can I make for you?”  
Phil decides to order Strawberry Fields Chicken, one of their more popular sandwiches. The air was silent but comfortable, the only noise was the cool sizzling of the grill, filling the air and Dan’s nostrils. Dan begins to daydream about where he could be and what he wants to do when he gets home, probably browse the audition websites to try and find a good play. 

Yes, you heard that right again, Dan is a struggling actor. Bit weird for him to not go to college for it, yea? Well, school was never really Dan’s thing anyway. He is terribly awkward in social situations and any thought of trying for some chemistry thing he didn’t really care about made him want to break out into hives. Still, Dan searches lndauditions.com every day to find plays in his area. So far, there has been no dice except a couple ensemble roles, but hopefully his break is coming, he can only hope…

Dan hums as Phil scrolls on his phone. He finishes cooking the chicken then adds the parmesan, running through the oven. Dan changes his gloves so he could scratch an itch on his head and glances at Phil again, whose cheekily smiling at something on his phone, he then giggles and looked up at Dan and blushes. 

“Sorry I-” 

“Got a cute text from your partner or somethin’?” Dan inquires, raising one cocky eyebrow. 

“No, it’s a video of a corgi riding a skateboard.” He turns the phone towards Dan, and laughs. He’s seen that one. 

Dan adds the strawberries and the red onions and puts it on a tray, handing it to Phil. He smiles at sat down, happily eating his food. 

“Wow, it’s actually good!” 

Dan smiled back, fondly, “It actually is,” 

*******

It has been about 52 days since the first time Phil came into Submarine and he had tried nearly every sandwich on the menu (except the Artichoke, of course).The two often had good conversations seeing as he always takes his break during the mid (the middle of Dan’s shift, the lull of the biz, normally from around 2:00-4:30), often times about memes or current TV shows and sometimes Dan would try to get Phil to talk about philosophy (“Oh! A study all about me!” “Will you shut up?”), which wouldn’t pan out a lot of times. He is too damn optimistic to think about existentialism. About a couple days ago, the pair exchanged numbers because Dan wanted to send Phil a funny video, but the two haven’t texted much because neither want to text first. They have talked about this problem in real life before but still to have a full conversation after hours. Today is the day Phil gets his car back as well. 

“Your car took literal years to fix Phil,” 

“Well apparently they 'forgot’ about it because they were waiting for a part in shipment, I dunno,” 

Is this the last time I am ever going to see you again?” Dan asks with feign sadness, flipping the chicken as Phil’s sandwich slowly cooks. 

“Probably not, I am a terrible driver,” Phil laughs. 

“Me too, I’m pretty shit.” 

Phil looks up at the ceiling and then back down at Dan. Dan raises an eyebrow. 

“What were you staring at up there Philly?’ Dan chuckles. 

“Your mum,” Phil laughs and takes a few cautionary steps away from Dan as he groans loudly which turns into a small laugh. 

“How did I walk into that one?” 

“Because you’re an idiot,” he says slowly. 

Dan looks down in utter defeat, absolutely done with Phil as a whole. “Y’know, maybe it won’t be so bad if I never see you again.” 

Phil awes sadly but laughs at Dan. “So what are you up to tonight? Going to play more Guild Wars 2 or something?” 

Dan shakes his head, “No, actually, I am going back to my hometown to go see a musical my old high school is putting on. It’s my old theater teacher’s last year at that school and I wanted to go visit him. He’s really nice and stuff.” He turns the chicken for a second time and waits for the other side to bake. It takes ages for this shit too cook all the way through. 

“I know musicals! I’ve seen Cats and Phantom of the Opera. What are they putting on?” Phil asked. 

“School of Rock,” Dan replies, moving behind the line and scrubbing away at a grease spot on the cutting board. “Y’know that really random movie with Jack Black? That’s now a musical. I get the pleasure of watching some random 17 year old try to fill the iconic role of Dewey Finn at 7:30 tonight,” 

“Wait a minute, isn’t like Wokinghan like a 2 hour train ride from London? When do you have to leave?” 

Dan pulls out his phone and looks at the time, “At this point, I am just waiting for another manager to come and relieve me of my duties so I can go catch the 5:15.” 

“And are you coming home after the play?” Phil’s voice was full of concern which Dan didn’t really pick up on. He was just sort of used to doing his own damn thing so everyone got sick of looking after him, so this “worry” was weird. 

“Yea, I’ll just take the midnight train back to London,” Dan sang the last bit hoping to get a little bit of a smile out of Phil but there was no dice, his frown deepens even more. 

“No way. I am coming with you,” Phil says. 

Dan rolls his eyes, “Ugh, why ya gotta?” 

“Because for one, I don’t want you walking home alone at one in the morning in November. I can drive you because I now have a car. Two, altogether, you’re going to be on the train for 4 hours! That is an insanely long time to be by yourself. Three, I have never been to a school play so I wanna go. And finally, you’re always saying we should hang out and everything because I am so cool,” Dan scoffs at that. “So now we are doing it.”

“You make a compelling argument,” Dan strokes his chin. “But I-” 

“But but but- NOTHING! Your plan is basically swiss cheese.” Dan raises an eyebrow at this comment. “Because there are so many holes in it!” Phil giggles. Dan begins to protest again. “No! No. I will pick you up in a half hour. I don’t wanna hear your excuses!” And he leaves the shop. 

Dan stands there for 30 seconds staring at the door. He hears the jingle as Phil, disgruntled, walks in the door again. “Forget something?” Dan asks. 

Phil grunts. “Can I just get my meal to go?” 

**********

Phil’s laugh was cute. Dan hadn’t really cared before because he doesn’t really notice those kinds of things. Dan shows Phil a video of a dog getting its nose caught in a cup before sneezing it out. He stifles giggles through the video, which makes Dan smile. It makes him happy. Never in his life has he ever been on a train and happy. 

**********

“Your school is nice,” Phil says, smiling as they walked through the front doors. 

“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” Dan says, arms folded across his chest like he needs protection. 

Phil spins around, looking at Dan, “What is your issue?” 

“I am like, petrified, that I am going to see someone I went to school with here. I only wanted to come to see my theater teacher and then leave.” 

Phil laughs and shook his head. He fiddles with his hair, gelled up into a quiff, making him look like a teacher wearing glasses and a button down shirt. He looks nicer than Dan does, who’s just wearing a sweatshirt. 

“I will be your conversation oil.” Dan frowns, deeply. “Meaning I will slip you out of your sticky situation with my… uh… lubricant,” Phil stops but then giggles again and so does Dan, who finally is smiling again. 

“You have got to know how disgusting that sounds, right?” 

Phil rolls his eyes and they mosey their way along to the auditorium and sit in their seats, pouring over the program. The school is old so they don’t have very good carpeting or comfortable seats. Yet, Dan’s heart swells, just a bit, from being back in the theater again. Despite his high school experience being horrific, the theater department always had a place for him. They had awkward house parties together, sing-alongs to old theater songs, playing the piano while the girls harmonized. It was nice. It was. 

“You alright, Dan?” He jumps a little by Phil placing a hand onto his shoulder, one eyebrow raised in concern. Dan sniffles a little bit and puts his hands into the sleeves of his sweatshirt. 

“Yea, uh.” He rubs his eye, “I was just thinking about, uh... Jeff Malpas’ take on nostalgia as a mood and deposition in general in his book Heidegger and the Thinking of Place.” 

Phil ponders this for a moment but responds:

“Do you ever just take a moment to relax and just, not think? I know it can be hard, but like, ever?” Dan just shrugs his shoulder and looks down sadly, knowing that no one would probably get it. Phil sighs. “Fine, I’ll humor you.” He sits up straighter and Dan turns to look. “Nostalgia isn’t just something you get when you return home or you replay a game on your childhood GameBoy. It is an emotion, a physical feeling sometimes, like a pain in your chest. But the problem with experiencing that, is not just a feeling of wanting to go back to simpler times. It is a longing to return to them - a return that can never be achieved. It’s a worse form of homesickness that is unsettling rather than comforting and bringing with it a sense of questionability of our place in our own world. 

Our brains are unreliable machines when it comes to memory. Rather than being able to perfectly capture what happens in a scenario like a video, it morphs the memories that you had into some kind of Frankenstein's monster, so after remembering something 20 or 30 or a billion times, it won’t even be similar to what actually happened. Dan, you have talked enough about your high school days to know you did not have a good time. You literally got anxious about coming back in case you saw someone you knew. You did not have a good time. But, because this location is an important part of your past, your brain wants you to desperately believe all the memories associated with it are good. Don’t get depressed over a reality of your past that never happened.” 

Dan opens his mouth and tries to speak but nothing comes out. He does this probably another three times, until he manages, “How did-” 

“Look, just because I don’t care about philosophy doesn’t mean I didn’t try to take it as an elective in university. That was like, the one thing I learned before dropping,” Phil laughs and Dan smiles softly. “Just, live in the moment and don’t get sad over the past. I am sure there is a quote for that somewhere,” Phil waves his hand dismissively. 

“Actually Lao Tzu said in 600 BC ‘If you -’” Dan starts before Phil laughs again. 

“Wow, I was making a joke but there actually is a quote out there. Man, I’m good.” The house lights go down as Phil says this and the two smile at each other. 

The show is pretty good for being at a high school. The set changes were very rough, however. A flat during the “Horace Green Alma Mater” song nearly falls onto the junior playing Rosalie Mullins if not caught by a surprisingly buff freshman. Phil giggles a little bit and whispers something under his breath and giggles to himself again. He catches Dan’s eye and smiles at him. The show runs rather smoothly after that, until Dewey begins singing “You’re in the Band” and Phil begins singing as well. 

It wasn’t too loud, but just loud enough that Dan can clearly hear the lyrics next to him and the people around him were giving him dirty looks. Dan needed to stop this before he got them both kick out of his theater. 

“Phil,” Dan harshly whispers. Phil’s singing stops and so does Dan’s heart when Phil looks at him. His dark hair and blue eyes illuminated by the redness of the stage lights. His mouth is slightly parted and the corners of his lips are tugged up slightly to show his enjoyment. Dan’s mouth fails him at that point, “Fuckin… uh…. Can’t sing… just… stop…” 

Phil frowns at him, nearly making direct eye contact, which normally would make him feel really uncomfortable but he’s completely enamored with the different colors dancing in front of Phil’s dark pupils, “Are you saying I am a bad singer?” Phil smirks. 

Behind him, a 40 something woman shushes the pair, tearing Dan away from Phil’s eyes. “Oh right, it’s a theater, you’re not supposed to talk,” Phil laughs slightly to himself. He turns to Dan and “shushed” him and continues to watch the musical, while all Dan could watch was Phil. 

*******

“‘Oh, it’s a theater! I forgot I wasn’t supposed to talk! Hhhhnnngg!’” Dan loudly mocks Phil on the tube home when the last person left their carriage. 

“I forgot!” Phil defends himself poorly. 

“I thought that you had seen Cats, you furry! That’s what you told me!” Dan exclaims. 

“I am going to choose to not comment on the furry part and tell you I watched an Off-Broadway bootleg of Cats back at University.” 

“Oh right, sure. You know what Off-Broadway is but you can’t remember to NOT TALK IN THE FUCKING THEATER!” 

“You’re no better!” Phil exclaims, “What was ‘uh- um- can’t sing-”

“Oh shut up!”

“- uh- stop.’ I am just saying, you couldn’t get 2 words out,” 

“Because,” Dan drawls, “I felt so incredibly awkward about all the people staring at us due to your ignorance!” 

“Whatever Trevor!” Phil sasses back. 

The rest of the tube ride consists of light roasting and a critical analysis of the show from Dan. (“I think they got Dewey’s character arc all wrong,” “Was Dewey the main guy?”). It’s mainly Dan doing all the talking and Phil nodding along or adding in stupid puns or comments to try and make the train ride feel less like a theater analysis class and more like two bros hanging out on the tube together at 12 in the morning. The rest of the ride is a blur. The pair stumble their sleepy selves into Phil’s car and Google Maps-ed their way home.

“Is this your house?” Phil asks after a few minutes of silence. Dan zones back into reality and looks up. Eggshell yellow, pink and purple flowers outside in the garden, unused bikes on the porch. 

“Nope,” Dan says. Phil looks shocked and is about to protest, “Kidding, yes. Yes, it is.” Phil sighs with relief. 

“Do you work tomorrow?” Phil asks. Dan shakes his head. 

“I have an audition tomorrow. Wanna get back into the swing of doing plays, y’know. It’s about time I picked up a hobby.” Phil looks sad. “Hey, I’ll text you how it goes, okay?” 

“Ooh,” Phil smiles. “An excuse to text now. Well unless something tragic happens to me like I die in a house fire, I’ll respond.”

Dan smiles and opens the car door, “Good.” He steps out into the cold September air, “Goodnight Phil.” 

“Goodnight, Dan.” Phil smiles and the car door slams. Dan walks up to his front door and unlocks it, and looks behind him to see Phil’s car still there. He waves and Phil enthusiastically waves back, despite seeing the exhaustion in his eyes. He pushes the door open and hears the tires rolling away. 

He drudges upstairs and gets changed into his pajamas. The cool air encourages him to get under the blankets and just curl up in a ball. He had a good night. A really good night. Why was he sad then? He shifts his weight to the other side of his body and sighs. 

“I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone,” he thought. “I wonder.” 

**********

“These people, they are drinking and fighting and if someone gets killed, then someone gets killed. It’s like… most of them don’t have any feelings!” Dan sighs and slightly bows his head and stares at the panel of people in front of him, who are all furiously writing in their notebooks. Auditioning always feels like such a barbaric process. You would sit in a room with a bunch of other nervous people while you were judged based on one monologue. Dan is a particularly anxious person anyways, so one directors nail biting or a mistimed yawn would throw Dan in a frenzy for the next couple days. 

“Very nice, Daniel,” The female director, Emma, said. “It says here on your resume that you were in 12 Angry Jurors, did you play Juror 7?” 

“Juror 10 did that monologue, not 7.” The stage manager, Effie, tells Emma. 

“Really?” Emma exclaims, “I swear 7 was the racist,” 

“No,” Effie says, “7 was the sports fanatic, 10 was the racist,” 

“Oh, right, you’re right,” Emma smiles and turns her attention back to Dan who’s standing very awkwardly at this point. “So, did you play Juror 10?” 

“No,” Dan said, “I played Juror 3…” He pauses, “he was the main antagonist for-” 

“Juror 8, right.” She looks down at her notes and back up at Dan, “Would you mind grabbing a script and turning to page 23 and reading for Jack?” Dan nods and begins reading and the directors at the table take the three other parts that he is reading with. They ask him to turn to another page and read for another character. And another. And another. 

After about 10 minutes of just reading the three ladies look at each other and bid Dan a good day. He awkwardly walks out of the room. He'd taken significantly more time than everyone else. Is that good? Bad? He sighs. “Great, that’s what is going to be taking up most of my brain capacity for the next week.” 

Dan texts Phil again about his audition. He's normally not a double texter but he really wants to have a chat with Phil. It always seems to lessen his anxiety by tenfold. It’s been about 3 hours without a response, which was weird because he known Phil has to be on his break by now, at least. 

Dan doesn’t really want to get hung up on this like he’s some love sick person, but he really thought he was making a friend in Phil and it is was really nice to finally have someone he shares interests with. Maybe it was all fake? 

“Dude he drove you home and spent 4 hours on a train with you. I wouldn't even do that for my own family.” Again, getting hung up over little things. Dan looks at the date: November 4th. It's payday today. He concludes that he will pay Phil a visit after getting his paycheck. 

He takes the tube, which is busier than normal, and stands, holding onto the rails when it abruptly stops, shooting everyone forward and a short Asian girl spilling coffee on him. 

She squeaks, apologizing. Dan just smiles and says, “it's leather, cleans easy.” An elderly lady offers him a handkerchief and he wipes down his jacket. 

“Attention passengers,” the muffled P.A. dings and begins speaking with a disgusting amount of feedback. “We apologize for the inconvenience but we are now experiencing minor delays-” Dan doesn’t even hear what the rest of what the voice says because there was so much tutting, yelling and raving about “this damn tube”. Sure, it's always like this, it's always late. Leave for your meeting 20 minutes earlier, at least then you won't be late. 

He hears the frantic typing and attempted calling from the business people, with many failures due to how far they were underground, he decides to check his texts. Nothing from Phil, but, he did see that dreaded “Read: 14:54” with that stupid check mark next to it. Phil really read it a minute after Dan sent it. How dare he leave him on Read. Well, he would have a strongly worded conversation with Phil when he got to Revival. Whatever. Dan pulls his headphones out of his bag and shoves them onto his ears, playing music loudly, getting insecure that everyone could hear it and decides to quieten it down. 

Dan walks with purpose towards the two buildings after 30 minutes on the tube. He goes in, got his check and left, which was unusual. He would normally bant with his GM or at least Chuck, but Dan has other things on his mind. He walks into Revival and put his headphones around his neck after opening the surprisingly light doors. A young woman walks up to him with electric blonde hair and soft brown eyes. She is wearing the same polo that Dan sees on Phil oh so often. She opted for soft white chinos rather than the black pants Phil normally wears. It makes Dan uneasy. 

“Hey Dan, don't you have a bathroom at home?” Her long hair went down to her mid stomach, and her hair was covering the name tag Revival employees are required. What was her name, crap. 

“I do… Renee,” She smiles and Dan thanks the Gods he got it right, “I'm just here looking for Phil.” She cocks her head to the left. “He told me to stop by yesterday.” 

She frowns in response, “Phil called in today. Something about a personal emergency that he needed to take care of.” 

Dan frowns as well and then face palms. Of course something happened. Phil specifically told him that's the only reason he wouldn't answer. Dan was too busy thinking about his own insecurities and himself to read between the texts and the read responses to actually see there was something else going on. The only thing that gives him a little relief is that he at least read the messages so he isn’t dead yet. Yet.

“Okay, I have to go, thank you Rebecca-” Dan says walking out the door. 

“It's Renee,” She says sheepishly. 

“Eh it won't come up again.” He shoves his shoulder into the door and leans against the brick. He pulls out his phone and sends another text to Phil. 

“hey just stopped by Revival and they said you called in what's going on are you ok?” 

Dan sighs, shivering in the cool November air. Not 30 seconds after sending that text he hears a familiar beat. “That Philly P, is one thicc bih. Show me, that-” Dan answers the phone before the song could even finish. 

“Hey man what’s going on? Is everything okay,” Dan asks very quickly. 

Phil lets out a bated breath and chuckles a little bit on the other end, but there was no heart to the laugh, “Yea I just, I have been having a rough day. Like, really rough,” 

“Well what happened?” 

Phil let out another breath, “Well my stepdad Greg who I have talked about before-” 

“The asshole, yes,” Dan said, deadpan. 

“Yea, the asshole. He doesn’t like me coming home late even though I am a grown ass man. Anyway, last night he yelled at me a lot about getting home super late and then this morning he,” Phil sighs and sniffles, “He kicked me out of his house.” 

Dan doesn’t really know what to say to that. He’s just stunned. How could a person do that over just one thing! Are you that angry about the door opening and closing at night that you’re going to kick out your own stepson for coming home late even though he is generally a good person? Who does a thing like that. But Dan does not say any of this. He doesn’t know what Phil needs to hear. 

“Phil, I-” 

“No, no, I’m okay. I guess it was high time for me to find my own place anyways. I have just spent the whole day moving into my brother’s apartment for the time being, but you know how expensive London is, yea?” 

“Yea,” Dan sadly agrees. “That’s why I haven’t moved out yet either,” 

“Right,” Phil says. Dan hears a door closing in the background, it sounds like he just got in a car. “And it’s very nice of my brother and his girlfriend to let me couch surf but they live all the way in Brighton which is-” 

“An hour for the train,” Dan finishes. 

“Exactly and twice as long by car,” Phil sighs again. 

“I just have to live with it for now I guess,” Phil says quietly as the phone goes quiet once again. He just didn’t have the words. Neither of them did. “I could just barely afford a flat. I wouldn’t be able to by anything else except food and I don’t want to be barely scraping by like that,” Phil explains, sighing, with a slight crack in his voice at the end.

So Dan says something bold, which he normally doesn’t make half-coped suggestions; he’s analytical and smart and has to go through every possible scenario before doing something grand so he doesn’t make a fool of himself. But there is something special about Phil that makes him want to punch Greg in the face and hold Phil until he feels better, as the only friend Dan has made in 6 years, it is time to be bold. 

“Why don’t we just move in together?” 

**********

5 months is a long time for change to enact, and a lot sure as hell has happened for Dan in 5 month, but to cover the highlights:

November: Dan and Phil decided to move in together and go apartment shopping (“Of course we should move in together, I’ll totally kick your ass at Mario!); Dan gets a raise at work (“I mean 11.50 an hour isn’t too bad I suppose,” “Hey, every penny counts Danny!”)

December: Dan and Phil still haven’t found an apartment (“I think we need to take a break shopping for a while.” “What? Because the last apartment had 3 people literally murdered in the master bedroom?” “No, it’s because the balcony was pine and not oak. YES BECAUSE OF THE MURDERS!”); Dan gets cast as Algernon Moncrieff in The Importance of Being Earnest (“Ah, yes! One of the many books I was supposed to read for my degree but didn’t, I’m excited to see what it’s actually about,”); Dan and Phil go drinking to celebrate and Phil calls Dan his best friend (“Phil, you’re not just my best friend, you’re my only friend,”), 

January: Phil invites Dan to his New Years Eve party and Phil kisses Dan at midnight (“You were just there it didn’t mean anything!” “Uh huh,” “I didn’t wanna smooch with Janice from accounting.” “I’m so sure Phil.” “Whatever. You smelled like grease and sandwiches anyway.” “Hey!”), the pair finally find an apartment that caters to their needs (“The apartment is cheap because it’s in the middle of fucking east Jesus nowhere.” “Just sign the lease Dan it doesn’t matter.”) Dan and Phil have their first fight building furniture (“How do you not know what a fucking socket wrench is?” “Do I look like someone who frequents the tools shop!”), 

February: Dan begins rehearsals for Ernest (“I have like 200 lines to memorize man, I can’t play Overcooked again tonight.”) Phil won a radio contest for couple massages and the two took advantage of that (“First you pay most of the apartment rent and now I get a free couples massage, I didn’t know I was getting into a sugar daddy situation.” “Just request off for Valentine’s Day, okay Dan?” “Wait, are you blushing, Phil?”) 

March: Phil gets a raise at work (“I can finally afford to order Ribena from Tesco’s weekly!”), Dan and Phil go back to Dan’s old high school to watch a play together (“I know the rules now, Dan, I am not gonna sing out loud this time,” “If you start singing in the middle of the Diary of fucking Anne Frank I am going to move out,”) 

And now Dan is in April, where the sun is shining just a little too bright for his liking and it’s just a bit uncomfortable for black skinny jeans every day. The days start off cold but move to nice and warm in the middle of the day. Dan’s show opens in just 4 weeks which is making him swim in all kinds of pools of anxiety all the time everyday. However on top of that, Phil is being weird. 

For the time that Dan has known Phil, he’s always been weird as a person. He has his quirks and his mannerisms that make him stick out and make Dan feel warm and happy on the inside. Phil is kind and affectionate and is always bringing him gifts when he has a rough day at work. He’s never had a friend like Phil. He’s lived a long time without Phil but now that he has worked his way into Dan’s home he wants to hold Phil close and make sure he doesn’t leave. The quirks just make Dan’s day all the more fun and interesting. He truly is the best friend he could ask for. However lately something’s changed and it’s hard to define, but Phil scampers around Dan like he is a bomb that is going to go off at any time. Always retreating to his bedroom at the end of the day instead of watching shows like they used to, and jokes that Dan would make Phil laughs a little too hard at (which isn’t bad for Dan’s ego but it didn’t used to always be this way). It’s like Phil doesn’t trust Dan anymore. 

It’s like Judith Bardwick said in her book The Power of Trust and Mistrust, the truth and trusting others comes at a high cost: it can lead to lies, deception and blackmail. Is it reasonable for Phil to be automatically so trusting of Dan, and how should Dan treat Phil if Phil doesn’t fully trust him. Dan knows about Phil’s anxieties so maybe Dan is being to hard on Phil, but it is still really bothering him. 

Dan brought this up one day and Phil simply and calmly said it was because he was thinking about looking for another job as a museum curator or a librarian or something different and he gets nervous about quitting things, which Dan understood, but immediately after he went back to being a wreck when Dan started joking about librarians. It was only when Phil froze after Dan put his hand on Phil’s waist to move past him in their narrow kitchen that Dan demands answers. 

“I’m being serious Phil, what is going on? Is it something that I did? Why are you being like this?” Dan asks sternly about 5 feet away from Phil. He’s trapped between the pantry and the fridge, so there’s nowhere to run. 

“I told you already Dan, it’s just about my job. I don’t like quitting,” Phil says looking down at the counter next to Dan. 

“Really?” Dan asks, taking a step closer. “Look me in the eye and tell me that.” 

Phi sighs and looks at Dan. “It’s just about my job and noth-” 

“No, no.” Dan stops, stepping closing to Phil who’s breathing becomes more uneasy. “I said look me in the eye. I know that old sales trick of looking at my forehead to give the illusion. Look me in the eye, Phil.” 

Phil looks Dan directly in the eyes. Dan’s heart rate increases immediately. Looking someone in the eye was so awkward. Dan never makes eye contact with anyone if he can help it and looking directly into Phil’s eyes just made him nervous. 

“Dan.” Phil says in a breathy tone. “There is nothing else…” He clears his throat, “There is nothing else going on but… but…” Phil gapes his mouth opened and closed like a fish and finally broke eye contact looking down sadly. 

“Ah ha!” Dan points an accusatory finger at Phil, “Ha! I knew it. I knew it all along! C’mon now, out with it,” 

Phil sighs and rubs his eyes a bit, “Okay, but firstly, you have to promise me our friendship isn’t going to change. I don’t want things to be awkward and I especially don’t want you to move out because of it,” 

“Are you like a murderer Phil?” 

Phil gives Dan a sad look, “Dan, please, I’m serious. Promise?” 

Dan sighs, “of course Phil, there are very few things that you could say that would make me wanna move out,” 

Phil sighs. “Okay, here we go,” Dan raises an eyebrow as Phil does breathing exercises to prepare himself. “Okay so since January I may have had a teensy, little, inkling bit of a crush on you. Now I don’t wanna make things awkward or anything I just wanna explain. So…” 

Phil explains but Dan doesn’t care to listen. A crush, really? That is so low on his priority list that Dan doesn’t even have enough words to explain how okay with him that is. Dan had it in his mind that Phil didn’t want to be friends anymore or when he got this new job he would move out and leave Dan behind or he wanted to yell at him for always being awake at 3 in the morning. But a crush? On him? That is so fanfiction. The pair are following one of the three basic fanfiction tropes. What’s next? Phil is going to ask him to be his fake boyfriend for his parents and the two have to share a bed at his parents house? 

But to be completely honest, Dan has never really thought about a relationship with Phil. Like, sure, he’s of course thoughts about how Phil’s eyes sparkle in the sunlight or about how nice Phil looks wearing all black because he himself is monochrome with his snow white skin and raven hair. Yea obviously Dan thought about kissing him again on New Years and making out with him after bringing Phil home drunk from the bar on his birthday. Of course the thoughts of cuddling were present at the spa when Dan saw Phil happy and relaxed for the first time in months and it felt so domestic when Dan fed Phil a bite of their shared chocolate lava cake but that was just joking around. Yes he wanted to cry when Phil told him he was his best friend and again the first time Phil said he loved him on Christmas Day, but they were just best friends. That’s what BFFL’s do. So this was all very new to Dan. 

“So, after seeing you scream profanities at that goose, that’s just when it all felt real to me, y’know? Anyways, I have been talking for ages, I just don’t want anything to change between us if you don’t feel the same way. I just had to get that all off my chest.” Phil looks down sadly, twiddling his thumbs and Dan grabs his hands pulling him out of his corner it to a hug. The two hugged for a long time, swaying in time for a bit. Dan pulls away and takes a couple steps back. 

“Okay, firstly Phil, I don’t mind that you have a thing for me. I see what kind of message you’re trying to send and honestly I am taking it as a compliment. I just have never really thought about it to be honest. Secondly, I am bi, so it doesn’t weird me out if that’s what you’re worried about. And thirdly, you’re very good looking and nice and so…” Dan sighs, “I am willing to go on a date with you. Since dating anyone has never really crossed my mind in the past couple month, I am willing to tread the waters to see, if, of course, that’s okay with you?” 

Phil blinks for a couple seconds and shakes his head to collect his thoughts, “Yea, yea! That- um- yes. Totally,” 

Dan chuckles, “Okay? So how about tomorrow at 6? I can take you out to dinner,” 

Phil smirks, “how about tomorrow at 7 and I’ll take you out to dinner,” Dan eyes widened at the sudden change in Phil’s confidence. 

“Yea,” Dan’s voice cracks and he swiftly walks away to his room because he was suddenly very sweaty. 

********

After Phil’s power move yesterday Dan hasn’t really talked to him since. Not like, actively avoiding him, but Phil is so unpredictable he didn’t know what he would say next. So at 6:30 Dan was getting ready, he wasn’t 100% sure what the dress code for the event was. In fact, he had no idea where Phil was taking him. So Dan opts for kind of a smart casual look with an edgy monochrome blazer and a black button up underneath. Basic black slacks with completely white tennis shoes. Casual. Dan even puts sea salt spray in his hair and exfoliates. He has not been this excited for a date in so long. Then again, he hasn’t been on a date in ages. But, never this excited. 

Dan emerges from his room around 6:45 where Phil greets him wearing a galaxy button up shirt with black blazer, black slacks and shoes with a pair of his “party” glasses. The black helps tone down the craziness of the shirt. He looks nice. 

“Hey! You look nice!” Phil says, giving him a pat on the back before walking out the door. 

The tube ride isn’t too long and it’s not awkward at all. They thankfully don’t stand out too much among the hoards of businessmen wearing powersuits. The two got to downtown London where Phil leads them where they would be eating that night. 

“Aww fuck yes!” Dan says as Phil opens the doors to Sushi Tetsu. Dan and Phil both love Japanese culture and Japan in general, it was one of the many things they talked about that really got them to bond. They tried to watch anime every morning and they talked a lot about Pokemon so the fact that Phil took him to a sushi house way beyond perfect. 

After Phil talks to the host and the two were seated, Dan looks at the menu and his eyes bulge out of his head. 

“Phil,” Dan says weakly, “This shit is expensive. You don’t expect to pay for all this yourself, do you?” 

Phil shrugs, “I do. I am the rich one out of the two of us,” Phil looks up from his menu and smiles. “Didn’t you once call me your sugar daddy,” 

“Oh c’mon I-” Dan cuts himself off when the waiter comes by asking about drinks. Sure, the food was expensive but there is shit on here that Dan has never even heard of. And they blow torch it in front of you? “Phil you have outdone yourself with the authenticity,” Dan says in awe. 

Phil smiles, “I try my best, truly.” Dan looks at Phil under the low light, him biting the inside of his cheek to decide what he wants was so dorky. He looks great in this monochrome setting and either Dan was tripping or the galaxies on his shirt were slightly sparkling with his twinkling eyes. 

“You look quite striking tonight Philip,” Dan tells him after deciding what he wanted and ordering. 

“Why thank you Daniel. Might I say your eyes look dashing in the moonlight,” Phil responds in a posh voice. 

“Why thank you,” Dan touches his hand to his heart. “May I say your hair is prettier than the night sky,” he says, matching the poshness of Phil’s voice. Phil blinks a couple times bashfully and this went on for a little bit before they started talking about other things. 

“How are rehearsals going?” Phil takes a sip of his water and Dan groans. 

“Don’t even get me started,” Phil gestures for him to continue. “Well, the guy who is playing Jack Worthington hasn’t been there for the last two rehearsals. Like sure, your sister has a baby, congrats, but that doesn’t mean you can be gone for two whole weeks. Also the lady who is playing Cecily is so fucking daft I bet she doesn’t even know her lefts from her rights, I don’t wanna fucking know what was going through the casting directors head when she cast that one. Cecily is supposed to be a good character but that idiot twat is playing her like a ditzy lovesick girl and it’s going to ruin the whole thing. Also like every other rehearsal the fucking stage manager puts the props on the wrong fucking side of the stage. Like you have everything written down is it that hard to read what you fucking wrote instead of guess. I swear to God nearly everyone in that room except Lane, Merriman, Gwendolen, and the sound and lights crew are the stupidest people I have ever had to work with in my life, and you have seen my job and where I work!” 

Dan rants for a little bit longer and Phil rants about his job as well. Apparently his interviews for museums and librarians were not going so great (“You would think that a bloody masters degree would be enough but not for the Science Museum! What a stupid name, right?”) 

When they get their food it was like every taste bud on Dan’s tongue was exploding into a million different pieces and sent off into the cosmos of heavenly flavor. It’s like watching a flower grow right before your eyes it was that beautiful. 

“Hnnnugughh,” Dan moans.

“That good, huh?” Phil asks after swallowing. 

“Oh my god it’s so good.” The two ate and ate and ate until their stomachs (and wallets) couldn’t take it anymore. It was the best time Dan has ever had out to dinner with someone ever. Phil doesn’t shush him when Dan speaks just a little too loud and Dan doesn’t laugh too hard when Phil’s face turns beet red after eating a spicy crab roll. It was nice. It was comfortable. 

After paying the grossly expensive bill the two walk home in comfortable silence, smiling and laughing at things on the street but not really having to communicate with words. Their hands and shoulders bump and brush against each other the entire time to the tube and they were basically on top of each other in the crowded tube. 

Dan and Phil get home basically glowing after a wonderful and almost perfect night out. They smile and giggle their way into the apartment, any outsider would have thought they had too many glasses of wine but Dan just felt drunk of friendship. 

“I had a really great time, Dan,” Phil says after they sit down on the couch, stripping themselves of their shoes and blazers which became a little uncomfortable after they reach their apartment in the middle of nowhere. Dan was kind of cold but he doesn’t even care about the goosebumps up and down his arms. He smiles and put his hand on Phil shoulder, nodding in response. “So, I have to ask, are we doing this again?” 

Dan’s mind finally unclouded. He has to think. Does he want to go out with Phil again? Does he feel the romance in the air tonight? “If I am being honest I don’t know,” Phil face falls just a bit. “I had a really great time. It was probably the most fun I have ever had, but I don’t know if it was me going on a date with a really great guy I want to date awesome or going out to dinner with my best friend awesome. The line is kind of blurry for me.”

Phil sighs, “I guess you’re right.” The air is thick and quiet for about thirty seconds. Neither of them know what to say. “Anything I can do to help unblur the line, do you need to put on my glasses?” Dan looks at Phil and softly chuckles. The aura in the room eases up a little. “Dan?” 

“Hmm,” Dan hums. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Dan eyes shoot up to Phil who’s already look directly at him. It was making him nervous again. He doesn’t know what to do. Does he want that? Would that help? He doesn’t want to toy with Phil’s feelings. 

Before Dan can let his thoughts run wild, he nods and tentatively places his lips onto Phil’s. Dan was expecting sparks and fireworks to go off in his brain. An avalanche of emotion was supposed to crash down upon him. Instead, he feels warm. It starts with his lips and the warmth slowly moves throughout his body, into his heart and to the very tips of his fingers and toes. His lips start tingling and his arms felt weak. It’s like being in a sauna. Dan’s heart is practically beating out of his chest as the two kept kissing deeper and for a long time. Dan had no idea how long they kissed on that sofa, the warmth and fire in his heart made him feel better than any fireworks possibly could. Phil stands up and Dan follows suit and the two kept kissing as Phil was leading them to his room. 

“Ow, fuck!” Phil says as he stumbles over the leg of a coffee table and almost falls. Dan can’t help but laugh as Phil grabs his wrist and pulls him into Phil’s room. “Will you be quiet I was trying to be hot,” Phil mutters, collapsing onto the bed. Dan follows suit, moving on top of him. Phil wraps his arms around Dan and flips Dan underneath him, gently pinning his hands to his side and begins to kiss him again. 

“Oh Christ, Phil,” Dan mutters between kisses. He feels Phil smile against his lips. 

********

Waking up in a bed that wasn’t his own makes Dan panic for a second, seeing as he wasn’t fully awake. But then he recognizes the familiar green and blue duvet and he realises he was in Phil’s bed. Phil’s bed? Oh shit, that happened. 

Before Dan could process that and their post-date events, Phil runs into the room and gives Dan a big bear hug. 

“Woah woah, hey! I just woke up!” Dan says, but Phil’s smile couldn’t bring him to be ma., “What’s up, what happened?”

“Dan! Olivette Library called me back they want me to work there!” 

“Really Phil? That’s great!” Dan hugs Phil back this time. Phil was so excited and Dan was genuinely happy for him. Dan knew Phil wasn’t exactly a fan of selling phones or being in the sales game at all. So this felt like a huge deal. 

“Yea, I just got off the phone with them like 30 seconds ago! This is like, the best 24 hours of my life!” 

“Well if you’re happy, Phil, then I am happy,” Dan says, lovingly. 

Phil frowns, “So, you had fun last night, right?” 

Dan beams, “Like I said, it was the most fun I have ever had,” 

“So, like, are we dating now?” Phil asks.

Dan sighs, again, he does that a lot, “I dunno Phil, I am still just kinda confused about my feelings. Like, I dunno if they are sexual and romance or they are more just feelings of friendship?” 

Phil frowns, “Dan we kinda hooked up last night, why would you still be questioning if it was feeling of friendship?” 

“Because, well, that’s what bro’s do, right? We made out and kinda hooked up, sure. But you’re still my best friend and even though you are like, the single most attractive person in the world and the person whose opinion I care about more than anything in the world, that’s like a best friends thing still, right?” 

Phil’s eyes were bulging out of his head and this point and Dan’s a little confused as to what he had said wrong, “Dan, you can’t be serious right?” 

“About what?” 

Phil groans, “Dan you obviously have feelings for me. All those things you just said aren’t what best friends do. That’s not even friends with benefits because you called me the most attractive person in the world. Have you never had a best friend before?” 

Dan gives Phil an annoyed look, “No I haven’t, we have discussed this. And I don’t know if I have feelings for you, I can’t tell,” 

Phil pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose and breathes deeply, “Okay,” He claps his hands together, “Let’s try this. Who, other than me, is like you’re second best friend?” 

Dan ponders for a second, “PJ and I have hung out a lot recently. We went to that art museum while you were visiting your parents,” 

“Okay, great!” Phil said, “So, would you ever hook up with PJ like we just did last night?” 

Dan scoffs, “Obviously not, he’s my friend,” 

“Would you ever kiss PJ?” 

Dan sighs, “No Phil, obviously not, unless it was for a dare,” 

“Would you kiss me, Dan?” 

Dan laughed, “Of course I would! I’ll kiss you now!” Dan leans forward and quickly pecks Phil on the lips before laying back down on the pillows. 

Phil breathes out slowly, “So can you explain to me why you would kiss me and not PJ?”

Dan chuckles, “That’s easy, because… because… well it’s cause I…” Dan’s eyes widens, “Oh no oh shit,” Dan puts his head in his hands and starts silently sobbing. 

Phil sat next to him and out his arm around Dan, comforting him, “There there, it’s okay,” 

How could Dan have been so blind? Is he really that dumb? He’s disappointed in his obliviousness but not surprised really. 

“So,” Dan comes up from his hands, “All those times I was thinking about kissing you and about how attractive you are and love and shit, that wasn’t platonic?” 

“‘Fraid not,” Phil says. “How can you be so philosophical and smart but be so dumb and blind at the same time?” 

“‘People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.’ That was Søren Kierkegaard,” Dan buries his head in a pillow. “I mean do you even wanna date anymore Phil?” Dan’s voice is muffled but not too much to not be able to decipher. 

“I want to date you even harder now because I know I will probably never reach that level of obliviousness. I just now know if I were to ever like, propose, I would have to make it very very dramatic,” 

Dan comes up from the pillow again, “I guess I have wanted to date you since we went to see School of Rock,” Phil softly smiles. “So, are we boyfriends now?” 

Phil beams his million dollar smile, “I guess we are,” The two kiss again softly before Phil pulls away. “You showered last night how is it possible you still smell like grease and sandwiches?” 

“Shut up, rat.”


End file.
